back with remembrance

I’ve had a busy couple of months – changing roles and getting used to a new routine means I haven’t been able to dedicate as much time to writing as I’d have liked.  So, to launch my shiny new blog identity (thanks Tom!), I thought I’d share a few bits of work that I did a while ago.

These first two pieces were written when I was in my mid-twenties, most probably while I was in the middle of deciding what to do with my life, judging by the recurring theme!

1. Poem on life

You only get one chance at life

But don’t expect it to be fair

Spending time feeling sorry for yourself

Won’t get you anywhere

Be prepared to lose sometimes

To make mistakes, be wrong

But don’t dwell on bad luck forever

Learn a lesson and move on

Be yourself, have your say

Don’t follow in the crowd

Love yourself for who you are

Stand up and be proud

The world is filled with envy and greed

But don’t get caught in the trap

Material possessions don’t count for much

They cannot love you back

Live a little, have some fun

Have a real good time

You’ll only regret it looking back

Someday down the line

Never give up on what you want

However hard it seems

Be bold and confident; take some risks

You’ll soon accomplish your dreams

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2. No Regrets

Have you ever stopped and taken a moment to reflect on life – wondered what it would be like if you’d done certain things differently? Yes, probably, everybody does at some point.

Sometimes when I take a moment to look back over my life, I can’t help but regret certain choices that I’ve made. Occasionally I wonder what I’d be doing now if I’d favoured a different route or made an alternative decision at particular points along the way.

It was during one of these rather philosophical moments it occurred to me that there are so many different paths of life to choose from. My whole existence – my friends, career, relationships – could all be significantly different now, had I chosen another way. There is no definite wrong or right path, but each one leads in a direction that is completely unlike the others, presenting alternative opportunities and people along its route. It’s scary how one tiny event could affect life for a long time to come; it’s as though one simple choice could potentially change the course of the rest of our lives.

Recently I was asked to go for a quiet drink with a friend, but declined because I fancied a night in. It wasn’t a hard decision, I barely gave it a thought. But what if I’d decided to go? I might have met the man of my dreams who I would fall in love with and eventually marry… I may possibly have missed my potential chance of happiness without even knowing, and now I’m carrying on with my life oblivious to how things could have been. But then again, it might not have been like that at all – probably just any other night in the pub – that’s the thing, we never know when we’ve reached a major crossroads, otherwise we could prepare!

How nice would it be if we could take a sneaky peak into the future? Just to check whether the direction we are about to choose works out for the best; that life to come will be happy and content, without regret. Then, if we don’t like the way things are, we can change our mind and choose an alternative route. Unfortunately things don’t work like that; we have to depend on our gut instinct, which is probably often more accurate than we think.

The fact is that we alone are in charge of our own destiny, and a big part of life is all about being in the right place at the right time. Maybe fate might sometimes play a small part and make something happen if we believe in it enough, or a series of coincidences may bring people together if it is truly meant to be. But at the end of the day, it is all about making choices, sometimes they are the right choices, other times we make a mistake and wish we could turn back the clock. That’s life!

I’ve come to learn that although it is all right to look back and reflect on life, there is no use filling our time with regrets and ‘what ifs’, because what’s done is done. We have to come to accept that a certain amount of disappointment in life is essential, because otherwise you cannot fully appreciate the good things that happen. The best thing is to learn from our mistakes and move forward, leave the past behind and strive for a better tomorrow!

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These next two poems go back even further to my childhood – both of them were winners in local poetry competitions.  The first piece shares its title with a poem I wrote recently in my creative writing course, and also draws upon the senses, which is something else we explored in the course.  The second one is hilarious to read back now, and makes me think I was going through some sort of identity crisis in my pre-teen years – although, I still think Beyonce stole my ideas!

3. The garden (age 13)

I walk into the garden, what can I see?

I can see a juicy ripe pear, dangling from the tree

I can see golden yellow buttercups, daisies in the grass

A black and yellow bumblebee, flying swiftly past

I can see a fuchsia bush, and roses just in bud

A slippery pink worm, sliding in the mud

I walk into the garden, what can I smell?

I can smell the sweet scent of the swaying bluebells

I can smell the mint leaves, the perfume from the rose

And I can smell the rhododendron, spreading as it grows

I can smell the fresh green grass, tickling my bare feet

And I can smell a bbq, with lots of nice things to eat

I walk into the garden, what can I hear?

I can hear the birds chirping, whistling loud and clear

I can hear the trees rustling, swaying in the breeze

I can hear the constant buzz of the honeybees

I can hear the cars, in the road nearby

And I can hear an aeroplane, way up in the sky

I walk into the garden, what can I feel?

I can feel the breeze on my face, while along the ground I race

I can feel the sharp sting, as I touch a stinging nettle

And I can feel the soft texture, of a flower petal

I can feel the grass, as I step down on it – crunch

And I can feel my stomach rumbling – I think it’s time for lunch!

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4. If I was a boy (age 12)

If I was a boy, though of course I am not

I’d be down the amusements putting money through slots

Or I’d be playing football in the park

Staying out ‘til after dark

Climbing trees, getting muddy

Having play fights with my buddy

But instead I’m a girl;

It’s not that I don’t like it, ‘cause I do

It’s just that boys have more fun

Don’t you think so too?

Boys don’t worry about being late for school

Being naughty, or driving miss up the wall

They think it’s funny to have to go to the head

Where us girls, even being told off we dread

If I was a boy at this moment in time,

This poem wouldn’t even have existed

I’d have thought it stupid and a waste of time

“I won’t win I’d have said,

I think I’ll just watch football instead”

Anyway, it’s no good thinking this way

Because I’m a girl and that I shall stay

But I still feel that boys have more fun

And sometimes I wish I was my mum’s son!

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